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mecaziyasam | kurgusal blog.. - Part 2

Dikiz aynası


Babamla ne zaman yola çıksak, ko-pilotum olarak bana hatırlattığı şeylerden birisi; sık sık aynalarıma bakarak arkadan gelenleri kontrol etmem gerektiğidir. Geride bıraktıklarımın farkına varayım diye değil, tüm karşılaşmalara hazırlıklı olmam içindir bu nasihatlar. Çünkü karşılaşmalar sadece aksi istikamette giden insanlar için söz konusu değildir. Gün gelir aynı istikamette giden kişiler de karşılaşır. Ve görebildiğim kadarıyla babamın bütün çabaları da tüm bu durumlar karşısında hazırlıklı ve dimdik ayakta durabilen bir evlat yetiştirme yönünde.
Gafil avlanmamak için hazırlıklı olmak önemli tabi, ama insan nefesinin kesildiği anlarda hissediyor yaşadığını. Ve başından geçen bu tarz her olay biraz daha cesur olmasını ve “koyver gitsin” demesini öğretiyor insana. Çok fazla düşünme imkanım olmuyor bunları ama bazen düşünmeyince de akışına bırakılmış bir hayatı yaşıyorsunuz. Kasten değil, kendiliğinden! fütursuzca.. devamini oku »

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Uçurtma Bayramları


“Ne zaman sen gelsen, evimde hep bir bayram sabahı coşkusu yaşanıyor.” demiştim bir gün. Senin birisine bu tarz birşey söylediğin oldu mu bilmem ama eminim ki düşünmüşsündür. Çünkü bazen kapı çalar, birisi gelir. Uzun kaldığı da olur, hemen kalkıp gittiği de.. fakat daima bişeyleri değiştirir. Eğer yukarıda bahsettiğim gibi birisiyse o kapıyı çalan, ne mutlu size. Bizim oralarda şöyle bir söylem vardır: “Bugün zenginiz, misafirimiz var.” derler. Çünkü değer verdiğin insanlarla hoş zaman geçirmekten büyük zenginlik neredeyse yoktur. devamini oku »

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Bana esmeyi anlat


Sıcak yaz günleri bitti..
Uzanıp yıldız dolu gökyüzünün altına sana masallar anlattığım günler gitgide geride kalıyor. Oysa sıcaktan başka derdimiz olmadığı ve geceleri biraz serinleyen havanın verdiği coşkuyla ne kadar mutlu hissetmiştik kendimizi. Ben saçma hikayeler uydurmuş, sen asla yüzüme vurmamıştın sözlerimin saçmalığını. Hep biraz müzik olmuştu kulaklarımızda. Belki dj in konuşmadığı bir anda açıp gözlerimizi, birbimizi aramıştık yanıbaşımızda. Onun haricinde hep kapalıydı gözlerimiz. Ve sen benim dizimde, ben senin yanında… Rahat günlerdi. Telaşımız yoktu ajandamızda. Birbirini tanımayan iki insan olarak mutlu hissediyorduk. Mutlu olmak için çok fazla şeye ihtiyaç duymayanlardanız diyorduk. Cahil mutluluğu hep böyle olmuştur zaten. kolay. “Seni yeterince tanımasaydım kesinlikle sevebilirdim.” diye bir söz vardı. sen duydun mu bilmem.
Sorulacak çok soru var. devamini oku »

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Seyyah


Geçtiğimiz üç hafta boyunca yollardaydım. gönlümü bir güzel gezdirdim, ferahladım. Hani derler ya çok gezen mi, çok okuyan mı bilir diye; bu sorunun cevabını bilemem ama çok gezenin daha fazla eğlendiğine şahitlik edebilirim. zaten insanoğlunun bencil oldugunu hepimiz biliyoruz. bunu göz önünde bulundurdugumuzda da gezmenin, bilmekten daha fazla mutlu edeceği şüphesizdir.
Çünkü asıl eğlenceli olan kendin için bişeyler yapmak. Başkalarına yardımcı olarak mutlu olabilenlere ne mutlu ama kendi işime hiç yaramayacağını bilmeme rağmen “belki bunu kullanarak başkalarına faydalı olurum” düşüncesiyle beyhude çabalar içinde günlerimi tüketmek bana vicdan azabı çektiriyor. Bu yüzden tadına vararak gezdim geçtiğimiz haftalarda. Sadece kendim için anılar topladım. Çok fazla fotoğraf çekemedim ama zihnime yükledim yolculugumu. devamini oku »

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